Chapter 7: Secret Formulas for Headlines

The Importance of Good Headlines
Nothing distinguishes a professional newsletter from an amateur one so quickly as the quality of the headlines. Because headlines are prominent, the reader’s eye goes to them first. Over half of the recipients of your newsletter will read the headlines. In the first few seconds of scanning, the reader’s crucial first impression of the publication is formed. The importance of taking the time and effort to write and edit good headlines cannot be overstated.

Well-written headlines distill the essence of the news point of a story. They are positive and specific; they contain strong, active verbs and short, simple words.

Writing good headlines takes practice and study. Spend some time with a good newspaper, studying the headlines in it. Headline writers on large newspapers are often among the most talented and experienced people on the staff. They become specialists in headline writing because they have a seasoned, almost instinctive, understanding of the essence of a news story. They write headlines hour after hour, day after day; for this reason, they excel at writing headlines.

In contemporary headline writing, unfortunately, there is a trend toward the “cute” headline. Puns are widely used by formerly sedate newspapers. Some of the uses are better than others. Examples of this breed of humorous headline are: Bjorn Again! (when Bjorn Borg won a tennis tournament) and State money woes/Give hospital pain. (We admired the former, regretted the latter.)

So many major metropolitan dailies use puns so relentlessly in headlines now that one suspects something is up, that their market research divisions have announced that puns sell papers. However, some great newspapers that, as of this writing, do not use puns in headlines are The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Philadelphia Bulletin.

In addition to studying professionally written headlines, spend some time learning the classic journalistic rules for writing good ones. Review these rules (see 15 Ways to Write Good Headlines below) before each headline writing session.

What an Arresting Headline Does

Gets Attention. The first function of a good headline is to get the reader’s attention. That’s why it is printed in larger type than the text. That’s why its few words must be so carefully chosen.

Tells the Story. A good headline tells readers what a story is about. It induces them to read the story. Even if they don’t, however, they can catch the essence of a story from a well-written headline. Readers should be able to pick up the main news in a newsletter by scanning only its headlines.

Leads the Reader Into the Story. Successful headlines do more than tell the story. They capture the readers’ interest and make them want to read on.

Classifies the Story. The size and style of a headline give readers some idea of the importance of the story. They show the relation of the story to others in the newsletter. The bigger the head and the more prominence it is given on a page, the more important the story.

Enhances the Page. The typography and style of a headline work to enhance the appearance of a page. Headlines work together on a page to present a lively and interesting face, to form attractive patterns as well as to tell the news.

What an Attention-Grabbing Headline Says
The headline is often taken from the lead. The main news in a properly written straight news story is in the lead, which may run for several sentences or even several paragraphs. The headline writer sifts through them, pinpoints the news, and forms a story sentence—a sentence that sums up the main news point of the story.

For example, assume a story is about the hiring of five new teachers by a school district for the coming year. The story sentence would be: school district hires five new teachers for 1995-96 term. The headline would feature the key words of that sentence: five teachers hired.

Then, depending on the amount of space allotted for the head, it would include such other information as the term they were hired for and who hired them. This kind of headline is relatively easy to write.

A story that comprises various facts may need a general headline. Say an agency has reorganized. It previously was divided into five departments. One new department has been added and two of the former five departments have merged.

The main news point is not that a new department has been added or that two other departments have been combined. The main news point is that there has been a major reorganization.

To single out only one of the points would not tell the whole story. The headline writer would focus on the reorganization and its expected result.

How Headlines Fail
Many newsletter headlines not only fail to focus on the main news point but also rely on words too general or too vague to give the reader the gist of the story. There are several categories of headlines to avoid.

The Label Head. An organization forms a new volunteer league. The headline reads: Volunteer League. Volunteer League what? Readers, if they have the time and patience, must read the story to find that a new league was formed to organize and train volunteers and that they are being urged to join it. The headline, at the very least, should tell readers that.

The Question Head. Another kind of head that falls short of doing its job is the question head: Is the Transit Plan Working? Readers may be interested enough to read the story to find out the answer. But the headline space might be better used to tell readers why the plan is working, if it is.

The Vague Head. Another failed headline is the “meeting held” variety. The headline Committee Meets tells readers next to nothing. What did the committee do? What’s the news?

The How or Why Head. The how or why headline is a little better: How Stock Options Work. This at least holds out a promise to readers and may even tempt them to read the story. But it communicates no concrete information.

The Clever Head. A clever headline may work for some feature stories—those that involve humor, suspense or extraordinary events or that are highly descriptive. But a good, clever headline is more than just clever; it captures what any good news headline does: key words, color, vitality, specific images and the essential news.

Puns and rhymes seldom work the way you want them to. If you suspect that a headline employing one of these conventions will evoke groans rather than smiles from your newsletter audience, rewrite it in a more conventional form. Occasionally allusion, irony, wit, metaphors, catch phrases, labels, questions and captions work in feature headlines. It is all right to break the rules and try one of these devices occasionally for a feature story.

Good headlines, whether on straight news or features, bring focus to a story and announce it with flair and action.

15 Ways to Write Good Headlines

1. Use Active Voice. The dynamic active voice saves words. "Man Bites Dog" is livelier than "Dog Is Bitten By Man." The subject and verb act as one. Also, the passive voice costs extra words and often makes a headline too long to fit the space available for it. Use the passive voice, however, if the active voice will delay the essential news. "Pay Hike OKd By Board" puts the real subject, the core news, first, as "Board OKs Pay Hike" does not.

2. Use Present Tense. To convey a feeling of immediacy, write headlines in the present tense, even if the story reports something that happened in the recent past. Write "Robber Flees" rather than "Robber Fled." Use the infinitive or future tense to announce a future event. "Lawyers To Debate Insanity Plea."

3. Use Short, Pithy Words. Use short synonyms for long words. Panel or group will more likely fit into a headline than will committee. Furthermore, long words can obscure meaning. "Work Begins On Broadway Bridge" communicates more than does "Bridge Repair Plan Implemented." Adjectives are seldom needed in headlines, and there is seldom room for them.

4. Avoid “To Be” Verbs. Headline writers delete helping verbs such as is and are. This omission saves space and punches up the headline. "Physicians Asked To Staff Clinic" omits the understood helping verb are.

5. Make Positive Statements. State negative information in positive form. "No Action Taken On Ruling By Pacifists" would be better written "Pacifists Decline to Act on Ruling." This construction also avoids confusion about who made the ruling. The pacifists did not make the ruling, yet the first headline makes it appear that they did.

6. Be Specific. Use precise words. "Editor Named Employee-of-the-Month communicates a more concrete idea than does "Woman Named Employee-of-the-Month." If readers know the editor, write "Janice Wright Named Employee-of-the-Month." Headlines that name a person work especially well with a photo of the person.

General words and vague words make dull headlines. One of the deadest headlines is the standing head, the “Message from the President.” Write a live headline about the president’s message; tell readers what the president has on his or her mind. Then maybe they’ll read the column.

Being specific does not include putting insignificant or outdated matter in a headline. The specific date, for instance, does not matter much after an event. The reader’s first response is to think he or she has missed something.

7. Be Accurate. A headline that sums up a speech must include attribution. Don’t write "Inflation Rate To Slow Down" as though it were a fact. Part of the news is who says so. Write "Inflation Will Slow, Kemp Says."

8. Be Impartial. Watch words that color a headline’s meaning or reflect the writer’s opinion. Words like denies or claims have connotations that may misrepresent the facts. Rose Lashes Board’s Action may overstate Rose’s criticism.

9. Don’t Repeat Key Words. Committee Ousts Committee Chairman is unacceptable. Look for synonyms; find another way to phrase the headline. Committee Ousts Its Chairman.

10. Avoid Confusing Line-Divisions. Don’t divide hyphenated words or words that go together from one line to the next. Group Votes To/Renew Plea. Here the split infinitive can be avoided by reworking the head: Group Votes/To Renew Plea.

11. Omit Articles. Generally, the articles a, an and the are omitted to improve action and to save space.

12. Avoid Abbreviations. "Salesman Wins Trip To LV." Readers may not catch on that "LV" is Las Vegas.

13. Avoid Exclamation Points & Other Punctuation. In almost all instances, exclamation points don’t have the effect you want—they squeak like adolescent cheerleaders instead of commanding attention like good broadcasters. Replace exclamation points with strong, accurate verbs. Replace periods with semicolons and double quotes with single quotes. Use commas sparingly, though the comma is often used in place of and in headlines.

14. Use Important Numbers Only. Except for one, numbers in headlines should be written as numerals: "23 Leave Camp for Wilderness." Dollar amounts are often meaningless unless they are compared to other figures: "$100,000 Added to Cost of Bridge" may be insignificant if the bridge costs $4 million, or it may be important if the bridge costs $200,000.

15. Avoid Contrived Headlines. Puns and rhymes are seldom appropriate in headlines.
A good list of short headline words is available in the book "Headlines and Deadlines" by Robert E. Garst and Theodore M. Bernstein. Such a list provides short synonyms for long words and is a valuable tool for making headlines fit.